Teaching Apologies is an Art

It’s been a long week at the Hope home. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. Living with 4 boys under the age of 8 will always be eventful and tiring. That said being a parent is also hard, tiring, and often humbling.

As an adult, especially a parent there is a very special and fine line between ego and the greater good. In all actuality those things are miles apart but human nature presides in times of trial.

How often do we show children that we are wrong? Do you admit to not knowing everything? Do you apologize for wrong doings and misunderstandings? Do you argue and try to fix things in front of your children?

Are you leading and teaching by example?

From the talented Alireza Yavari's Google+ Click to see

We want our children to do and be many things. Love their siblings. Be friendly and respectful. Handle criticism with integrity. Not curse, drink, or smoke. We want them to be responsible, be accountable, be forgiving, be compassionate, and be confident. Ultimately we want them to grow into a great and happy person. Well guess what people! That means practicing what you preach. That means being and DOING the things you want to instill in your children. This means being the change. Trust, Gandhi was on to something HUGE.

Practicing what you preach is hard. More importantly, including your children to keep you accountable is harder. Many people disagree with my take on this. They feel children shouldn’t have a say in adult matters. The way I see it, adult matters are just as much the matters of our children for this is their world, future, and life we are shaping. Plus, children are the uncut geniuses who have yet to be told “that is impossible,” “that isn’t the right way,” or “you are crazy.”

How Classic Literature, Martin Luther King Jr, and You Can Change the World

When I need to have comfort, I ask others directly to “tell me something sweet.” Recently I asked this of my husband and the comparison of classic literature came to be. How my writing reminds him more of the classics and less of pop-culture. How because of me; he has read more things like The Time Machine, the works of Edgar Allen Poe, Bram Stroker’s Dracula, Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, Catcher and the Rye, and more.  Perhaps this is because of my own love of the classics. No matter the genre or story, most of them were taking a stand. They expose universal truths and the raw, realness of the taboo. The classics paint pictures and take you on travels and adventures you’d never see in a theater. They make your feelings acute and at times face your own demons and opinions.

I find many authors to be my role models. No, not athletes, models, actresses, or musicians. Most people, though they work very hard, they are not putting themselves, their beliefs, their experiences on paper for another person to learn from. Yes, artists of all forms suffer for their art… but how many of them truly leave you thinking and questioning the world in which we live and the actions you put forth…  As a lover of books, authors, and quotes; a few of my favorites are Khalil Gabran, Dante Aligheri, William Shakespeare, JR Tolkien, Sarah Williams, and Martin Luther King Jr. 

A Few Questions and Thoughts for Your Weekend

My Questions

What matters more:

small things that complete you for a moment

or

something that completes you for life

How do you intertwine:

the small things that have made you larger than life

with

the large things that lead to the small things happening

How do you believe:

that you are one hundred percent sure of something

when

life constantly teaches you that all those other things you were sure of

was just a big fuck-up with little perks

Chrystalyn Circa 2007

I’m No 365 or 366-er

So, here we are. Monday, Day 9, 2012. Actually, it is now Tuesday, Day 10 of 2012. I have posted 7 out of those 10 days. Two of those don’t really count being previously written articles of Poetry and Prose. Yet according to WordPress math, this is my year for the 300′s. I wrote 50+  my first year. Last year I wrote over a hundred. So if I follow the numerical pattern I would soon become a 365(6)er.

I hate to break this to you, but I will never be a 365(6)er.

Buckle Up! Its Ride Or Die.

The thought of climbing in a metal can that weighs 400 times more than you and trying to control it while you are watching out for everyone else’s crazy self… Well, it scared the bejesus out of me. I wanted to move somewhere I would never have to drive. The thought of driving would make me claustrophobic, anxious, paranoid, and completely uneasy. And, I occasionally still get that way.

But, hey, driving isn’t about getting from point A to point B safely. It is about trying to rack up the points, piss off a multitude of people, and help them confirm their faith; right?  So, here are some tips and tricks.

Road Rules 101

Its a New Year, Pay It Forward

Who would have thought a seven-year-old boy would learn something meaningful from Transformers. Honestly it is entertainment and seeing their toys come to “life” on the big screen. But, for a child to make a comparison, a deep meaningful comparison that inflicts his heart… well, it shocked the hell out of me.

Pay it Forward (Source: imdb.com)

To celebrate ringing in the New Year family style, we watched Pay It Forward. My husband put it on and we all just found our place watching it. Very touching movie with a very sad part. After it ended completely Jakin looks at me and says, “He’s like Optimus Prime.” Huh? So, I ask him to explain what he means. He says that Trevor is like Optimus Prime sacrificing himself to save Adam and that Adam was like Sam. “You just can’t forget that,” he said fighting tears.

Woah. 

No Room At The Inn (part 1)

Hold on tightly, love. Grab on to what you can with despaired knuckles knowing any moment, any day it will all fall. Their claim to care will degenerate to their follies of self-righteous intention. The shimmering gold will turn green and fade. Gilded at best. The gleaming smiles and polite conversation will turn into frustrating demands. A fit for every time you have an opinion. To keep them happy, you must sell your soul. Unlike the devil, this is not a one time transaction, for then their truth be known. It starts slowly. Comfortably. Tiny white lies. Till your mouth knows not what it is saying. Dis-ingenious actions. Till those you love and truly love you turn away with tears. It is a slippery slope you’re sliding and time is funny. For there is always time to say you are sorry. There is always time to take a stand. However, by that time it may be too late. Too late to heal. Too late to escape their grasp. Too late for willing help. Too late for who you are. Stuck in who you let yourself be lead to become. Stuck with the lies and deception. For ugly and evil are hard to wash clean.

 

Chrystalyn

An Ode to the Shoddy Day

It is days like today I am glad I collect pillows and not cats like most emotional,  needy, smart broads.

To The First Greatest Man I Knew.

 I looked for love in all the wrong places, starting at an extremely young age. My mother lead this fine example well into late life. My impressions of love included such wonderful ideals as fleeting, painful, passionate, and lonely. Only one person before my husband ever took the time to show me the extremely complex and actually blissful sides of love. No, he was not my father.

Wow Me WEAK Wednesday

 I spent most of my young childhood with my Mimi and Papa at their home. Needless to say many of the foundations of life and philosophies in growth formed under their roof. One of the most daunting and memorable moments of my childhood wasn’t in the memory itself but one sentence said outside of instruction. Mimi taught me how to make a bed, hospital corners and all. I asked her why it was so important to have even, perfect hospital corners on a sheet you  never see. 

“We never show weakness because even the best of people will use it against you.”

On A Personal Note… Pt 2

Ladies and Gents… Birds and Studs… Broads and Dicks,

The HUMAN body is made to have curves.

 I hope you read On A Personal Note… Pt 1 because that was personally for you. Now this one, Pt 2, is personally for me.

On A Personal Note… Pt 1

Ladies and Gents… Birds and Studs… Broads and Dicks,

The HUMAN body is made to have curves.

The Demons Of Life

I haven’t written lately. Not that I haven’t wanted to write, but my mind has been in a very strange place unvisited for many years. It is dark, realistic, negative, chaotic, and at times downright terrifying. Quite frankly it leaves me in a state of numb melancholia when my thoughts and heart meet in this place. Yes, some of my best writing of my early years were from this place. It is and always will be part of me but it can be very hard to leave and come to balance. I have so many wonderful blessings in my life. I had to find my way back to balance for my husband, my children… my sanity.